Dating Sucks… Until you get used to it??

11 Jul

Dating sucks. It really does.

First dates = A ball full of nerves about whether it will go well, what will we talk about, etc.

Then if you actually like the guy, you get to worry about getting a phone call. And if not, you still worry about it because you know you have to let the poor sap down.

Dates 2 through who freaking knows how many? = This is where I am. Things are going well, but if you are someone who dating generally doesn’t go well for, there is the constant worry that it’s all going to end.

Things seem to still be going well with me and The Coworker, but I’m starting to have spells of worry. At first, seeing each other once a week was good for me. Too fast equals scaring me off. But as I begin to like him more and more, I’d like to see him more and more and it’s still only once a week. I haven’t seen him in a week and two days and my god, it seems like a month! I’ve been worrying because I’ve been suggesting times/dates to hang out and he hasn’t been able to for various reasons. Not sketchy reasons by any means, so that’s good. He’s been legit out of town on vacation twice this week. But it’s been me doing all the asking. So I stopped. Knowing he went out of town again yesterday, and us not going a day without texting since we met, I wondered if he’d text me today.

It was a test. And he passed. And he was his usual flirty self, which calmed me a bit. But geez… I hate the uneasy feeling of dating. I haven’t dated someone past 5 dates in a couple years, and not many times in total even then, so I’m always unsure.

Speak of the devil… He just texted me as I’m writing. Calm down girl! Calm the eff down!

Day of Fun!

1 Jul

Things are going amazingly well with The Coworker. I’m a little scared to even write that because I’ll probably jinx it but it’s nice to write some good stories instead of some bad dating ones.

Sexy times happened as expected on Thursday. Was amazing and I could barely walk the next day. That’s all I’ll say about that. :)

On Sunday morning, we were texting as usual when he all of a sudden said on a whim that he wanted to drive to a town about 3 hours away from us to go to the best mini-golf place ever! I also know of and love that place… Flashback to childhood… So I was totally game! He picked me up and on our way we went. We played two rounds of mini-golf… I won the first by 1 point and he slaughtered me during the second. Wagers were made but the stakes will not be revealed on here.

Between the rounds we were trying to find a casual pub for dinner. We found one that looked like a pub so wandered in. Immediately we could tell it was a lot fancier than anticipated. We were seated and given menus and as we looked at them, we looked at each other and had the same thought…. We need to get out of here. We weren’t exactly anticipating $75 lobster for two. We got up and practically ran out the door. Awkward and a first for both of us. A dine and dash, without the dine. We ended up finding a pub that was much more our style. If you’ve ever seen the TV Show How I Met Your Mother, there is a part where it’s talked about how in a pair of soul mates, one will love olives and the other will hate them. That way, the person who loved them can eat them all for the other person. Well, not only do I love olives and he hates them, but while I love calamari, I refuse to eat the pieces with tentacles. And he loves them. We established we are a pretty good match for these reasons.

After our second round of mini-golf, we hit up the arcade on site. Played a bunch of awesome games and had a blast. It was one of those places that gives out tickets for prizes too so we picked out some crappy prizes and then headed home. It was one of my most fun dates in a long time.

Also a good test of spending an entire day together and still wanting more. I get sick of people fast, but with him I just want more and more. I’m totally comfortable with him and we can talk about anything which is also something I look for. All signs point to awesome!

End paranoia, enter sexy times

25 Jun

Date #4 tomorrow with the Coworker. It’s all going so well and I’m really starting to like him, so I’m doing my best not to enter a state of paranoia. It’s been 6 years since my last long term relationship and everything since then has crumbled pretty quickly. I’m really starting to like him and I don’t want it to end.

I had a minor freak out on Saturday. The night before, Friday, the Coworker and I were texting but there were some unusually long pauses between him texting me back. He’s not the quickest texter anyway, but this was extra long and my mind immediately thought he was out with another girl. Which he could… We aren’t exclusive, but I still didn’t like the thought. Then Saturday, I was at a Birthday party with my best friend for another friend and the Coworker and I were texting. He mentioned going out with the guys to a bar and that also scared me. I didn’t want him meeting other girls and forgetting about me.

My paranoia was unwarranted. His “wild guys night” turned into everyone bailing early and him being home by 9:30pm, at which point he texted me immediately. Who knows why the long text delays the Friday before, but for now I’m pretty sure I’m the only one on his mind.

I would have loved to let him ravage me last week when I saw him, but due to the lady curse that didn’t happen. Tomorrow. It’s so on! There’s been a lot of sexual tension texting over the last few days and it’s definitely a go. Can’t wait! Been a loooooong time since I’ve had sex and I definitely need this. And excited that it’s going to be with him. My daydream fantasies have been consuming me lately so the real thing is going to be amazing!

Not self sabotaging? What is this sorcery?

13 Jun

Last weekend I had what I consider my first official date with The Coworker. We had gone for lunch during work before, but that wasn’t truly a “date”. This was. It was sunny and hot outside so we met for drinks at a restaurant with a patio. As before, conversation flowed and it was a good time. Usually I am super nervous before dates but wasn’t at all. Either because I feel like I know him already from work and texting or because of the anxiety pills I now take. I said this before and I’ll say it again… It was just easy. Yes, I still have “the warning” in the bad of my mind, but I just haven’t seen any red flags yet. Either he’s a really really good player or he’s actually grown up and is looking for more. Or it really was all just rumours. Too soon to tell, but so far so good.

After drinks we went for a walk over a bridge and around the waterfront. Shortly into the walk, he stopped and I felt the urge to wrap my arms around him from behind, so I did. He turned around and we had out first kiss. A great first kiss. From there we continued to walk, holding hands, which made me realize just how long it’s been since I’ve held hands with someone… It seems to be one of those more “intimate” things that I only do with someone I’ve been dating for awhile. Kissing and sex, sure! Holding hands, that comes later! Weird how that works. But I digress.

Walked for awhile, kissed a few more times, and then headed home. That was on Sunday. I haven’t seen him since then but we’ve become accustomed to texting frequently during the day. And my favorite thing: He texts me every morning around the same time to say Good Morning. He’s conditioned me to expect that so I hope he doesn’t stop.

Date #2 is tomorrow… We’re going to see a movie. I’m excited to see him. And comfortable enough with him that when I see him, I’m going straight in for a kiss. That’s literally unheard of for me… Especially on a second date! This is generally when I start freaking out and start self sabotaging. Not this time! Haven’t seen him at work at all this week because we’ve been working from different locations. So can’t wait!

I really wonder how much of this awesomeness is because of things being so natural and comfortable with him, and how much is because I have control over my anxiety now. I’m pretty sure it’s a mixture of both and I sure hope it doesn’t end!

The Warning

3 Jun

“Oh, stay away from him!”

Ugh… Hate this. Hate living in a town where there is only 2-3 max degrees of separation between everyone in it. You start liking a guy and then someone who knows him tells you something bad about him. Warns you to stay away from him.

I’ve been warned before and listened when I shouldn’t have. I’ve been warned before and not listened when I should have. I’ve also been warned before when I didn’t listen and the guy wasn’t anything like “the warning”. He was a bad guy for other reasons, but not what I was warned about at all. Haha.

This guy from work. We’ve been getting along great. But then someone else at work, who doesn’t even know I’m talking to him, throws out “the warning”.

“He tries to get every new girl employee in a certain department (my department) into bed. He’s a bit of a manwhore.”

Shocking to me to hear this because this is NOT the impression I have gotten from him. He’s been a perfect gentleman, is actually quite shy, and hasn’t even attempted to get me into bed yet. Heck, it took him two months of talking to me to even get up the nerve to ask me to have lunch with him at work. He talks about wanting to find a wife and really wants kids.

I asked him about what I heard and he said that he’s dated two girls at work, both lasting almost a year. Now, the information I was given has put a sense of caution in me but I also don’t know how much of it to believe. I knew about one of the girls he dated long before this (from someone else) and while it didn’t end well, it wasn’t a “bang her and leave her” thing. It lasted a long time. And according to him, so did the other one. I also kind of know how rumours work… If you’re the single person who is looking for love and end up dating a few people from work, that turns into you hooking up with everyone at work. This has happened to me and I’m far from the girl who hooks up with a lot of people… But dating three people at my last job formed a reputation.

And he’s apparently a manwhore. This I would need to see to believe, because come on…. How many guys do you know who didn’t go through a but of a player faze in their younger days? Not very many. Almost every guy I know has at SOME point slutted around and had some fun. Many girls I know have too. This guy is 30 now, and I fully believe that most guys do grow up and want to settle down eventually. Manwhore once, quite possibly. Manwhore always, likely not.

Like I said, caution in the back of my mind, but I think this is a warning that I need to see if it’s reputable before I totally back off. If it’s true, it won’t be very long before it’s apparent.

The End

31 May

Guy With Fiancé got married today.

The official end.

I wasn’t invited, and didn’t expect to be, but we have so many mutual friends that my Facebook feed has been filled with thoughts of pending
excitement over the last week and words of congratulations today. And tomorrow, the pictures will start.

I’m ok with it. I gave up a long time ago but it still sucks way down at the bottom of my heart.

C’est la vie.

Easy

24 May

Dating should be easy… At least in the beginning. Yes, relationships take work and come with rough patches, but when you first start dating someone, it should be easy. No games, no stress, no guess work, just excitement and butterflies.

I forgot what that was like, until now. My last post talked about a co-worker at my new job who found me on POF before we met in person. We started texting before we met in person at work. I don’t typically like chatting so much before meeting someone in person because the fear of lack of conversation is in my mind, but with him, it was easy.

He told me he’s shy, and through texting he would flirt, but I was still waiting for him to make the first move to ask me to hang out. Since my last post, I was moved to a different office in order to get trained. He works at the other office mostly, but sometimes he’s at my temporary office. So he finally asked me to go for lunch one day when he would be at my office. It was a good way to test the waters, in my mind. We have an hour for lunch, so a good “first date” with a time limit to see if there was an in person connection.

There was for me, and while I briefly wondered if he thought the same, my question was answered the next morning when he left a note on my desk before I got there. He was there early and then back to the original office. The note was simple, wishing me a great day, but it made me smile. It’s definitely the small things that count in my mind.

We’ve continued texting since, but a couple days after our lunch, he headed to Mexico for a week. He’s still there and coming back Tuesday. He texted me the morning he left and I wished him a good trip.

I actually can’t wait until he gets back. I kind of miss him. Haven’t gone this long without texting since we met. I want a second date not on work time as well. But all that said, I’m not worried. I know it will happen. I know he’ll text me as soon as he gets back. I know he wants to see me again. I’m not worried about texting him first and seeming needy. And vice versa.

It’s easy… How it should be. The fun kind of getting to know each other. I can’t really say we’re dating yet because it’s only been one date, and knowing me it won’t last past date three, but I’ll always be hopeful and hopefully many more to come!

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